walk by faith

For I will walk by faith even when I cannot see

I didn’t grow up religious. The faith in God I have stems from a personal place—from me seeking Him out on my own, for my own reasons, on my own terms.

I think there is beauty in this.
Are there times I wish I grew up on the Bible? With the words forced into my brain? Yes.
But how frequently do we see that go badly.
That is not what this post is about, rather it is about believing that the best is coming even if you cannot see it right now.
It is about believing that you have yet to live some of the best days of your life.
It is about believing that no matter how bad the storm is now, there will be days of sunshine ahead.
It is about believing that even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise (Victor Hugo).
It is about believing that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith to land where you want to.
It is about letting go and letting God. Or if you do not believe, letting life. Because ultimately there is only so much you can do to control how the days go on.
Yes you define yourself and your life, but trying to control everything or the normal flow of life or worrying about tomorrow will do nothing but rob today of it’s beauty.
So I ask you, even if you aren’t religious: to live by this verse. Because sometimes you just have to walk by faith…no matter what faith be for

Found on Pinterest

yours truly,

Amyrae

Friday Night

I sit here, on a Friday night as twenty-one-year-old college student at one of Playboy’s top rated party schools, showered, in bed, and contemplating my future.
I am messaging with a best friend, who I have known since I was a fourteen-year-old high school freshman.
I am getting ready to make a cup of tea and do school reading before I hopefully fall asleep, before midnight. (I struggle with insomnia and have since high school)
I asked my boyfriend before he left if it’s embarrassing that it’s Friday night and I’m going to be doing homework, eating a Spoonbender he so kindly bought for me at Goodtimes, watching some ItsJudysLife vlogs and going to bed early. He said that it depends on who I’m asking, but not for him because [all of that] “sounds like my baby.”
Both of us are homebodies. And both of us have aspirations of our own that hopefully will define us as a “power couple.” Cheesy? Yes. Ambitious? Yes. Realistic? Yes.

I guess I could get to the point of this post.

I feel like those that are successful are the ones who do what they have to do (like going the extra mile), even if they don’t want to. And those that are successful are the ones who learn from their mistakes and learn to master the balancing act, of being young, reckless, having fun and being responsible and putting in the work when others are getting blackout drunk.

Do I go out? Absolutely. And do I enjoy myself when I do? You fucking bet I do.

I went out last Friday. But, I laid in the bed I made and went to my early morning CPR class feeling like absolute poop.

I guess the point is that you can’t be afraid to do what you think is right—or what you want to be doing. It’s cold and snowy and I have three midterms coming up so my priorities are somewhere other than going out to the bars or a house party and getting drunk.

I just think back to the quote about being unapologetically yourself. You can’t compromise who you are for acceptance into the “mainstream” norm. It’s taken me a long time to realize that and actually solidify it into a true and firm belief of mine.

I’m sorry for the rambling. I just felt like writing, so I did.

yours truly,
Amyrae

New Beginning

School’s Starting As I head into what should be my last semester of college, I can’t help but feel just a little relief that it isn’t actually. As sick of school as I am, I’m not sure I could make it in the real world yet. I, like many other 21-year-olds out there, still do not know what I want to do with my life after graduation. I have ideas, but nothing I have completely fallen passionately in love with pursuing. I won’t settle either. I’m not going to accept an idea that might workout without the passion behind it. I can’t do that. I won't do that. Every time I start writing I just stop. I just decide I don't want to finish what I’ve started. I think that should be a goal of mine for 2015—to become more of a finisher than a starter. I haven’t spent time on this blog and I haven’t worked on my channel. I’m not going to bite off more than I can chew and say I am going to start to do both, but I do believe that writing is therapeutic and I am going to do it more often. The posts may not be cohesive and I am okay with that. I might be writing to a nonexistent audience but I’m okay with that too, because I am doing this for me.